


White Lies

by bluechild



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Eh not really TTM spoilers, F/M, Post TTM, no happiness, still bad at tagging y’all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27148016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluechild/pseuds/bluechild
Summary: Every few weeks, she left. To hunt the person who haunted her nightmares. And she always, always left me behind.I stayed awake, she drugged me.I refused fluid and food, I passed out and she left anyway.I couldn’t win.I couldn’t take it anymore. I hated myself for what I was going to do, but she’d left me with no choice.
Relationships: Callum/Rayla (The Dragon Prince)
Comments: 31
Kudos: 46
Collections: Angestoberfest!





	White Lies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AWillfullDroll](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AWillfullDroll/gifts).



> Okay, a few things:
> 
> This fic was pretty much completely inspired by chapter 14 of AWillfullDroll’s ‘AngstoberFest 2020’ - it’s so sad please check it out, it’s got some amazing stuff in there, and it’s really underrated :D
> 
> I’m really sorry I haven’t replied to any comments from anything in the past week or so, I’ve just been super busy with quarantine lifting and I’ve lost all motivation. This oneshot is the only thing I’ve managed to write in the past week, I’ve just been so out of the mood :( I’m just really sorry
> 
> With that out of the way, enjoy :)

She was supposed to be back by now. 

I sighed, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over my cheeks, and I continued sketching. 

It was a drawing of Rayla on our wedding day. She was happy, carefree… but I was trying to capture the ache in her eyes. The knowledge of what she was going to put me through in the next five years. 

I understood. I really did. Viren was  _ still _ out there, growing stronger. 

One day Rayla had come back from one of her trips with the news that Claudia was dead, and I’d been so hopeful that she was satisfied. That Rayla would settle for one dark mage gone. 

But she continued to leave on her ‘vacations’, leaving for weeks - sometimes months - at a time to find Viren. No matter how much I struggled to keep her with me, she would make up her stubborn mind and be gone by morning. 

I stayed awake, she drugged me. 

I refused fluid and food, I passed out and she left anyway. 

I couldn’t win. 

I couldn’t take it anymore. I hated myself for what I was going to do, but she’d left me with no choice. 

“Honey?” 

My head snapped up at the achingly familiar voice, lilac eyes entering my vision. I hadn’t even heard her entering the room. 

“Hey,” I murmured, standing. 

Rayla smiled warmly - my heart breaking with her happiness - and pressed her lips to mine. I couldn’t muster the courage to kiss her back. 

“Are you feeling okay?” She asked, touching my head gently. “You don’t look sick, but you seem-“

“It-its over.” I couldn’t bring myself to watch her, my face turning to look at the ground instead. 

“What?” She was confused. Not outraged, or heartbroken. 

“I want a-a divorce.”

“W-what?”

Her voice was barely more than a breath, and  _ now _ I could hear her pain. 

“I want a divorce,” I repeated, stronger. I finally faced my wife, and she stepped back. 

“No,” she whispered in disbelief, almost tripping over a chair. 

When I didn’t say anything else, tears started falling down her face as her expression twisted in agony. 

“No!” She shouted, gripping the chair for balance. 

“Yes,” I whispered, forcing myself to stay strong. If I broke, then my resolve would too. 

_ “No!” _ She screamed, falling to her knees - similar to how she herself was falling apart. Anguish was written all over her face and her hands were balled in fists on her knees. 

This is why we were in the Banther Lodge - no audience, no nosy guards. 

“I’ll pack up the room,” I told her, slinging my sketchbook over my shoulder. 

_ “Why?!” _ Rayla begged, and I swallowed and faced her. “Don’t you love me anymore?!”

Gods, I loved her. So, so much. This was just for the best. 

_ “Why?!  _ Please, Callum-  _ tell me why!” _

I didn’t answer. She was still on the ground, sobbing and crying. Her usually vibrant eyes were closer to gray with despair. 

_ “Callum! Please!” _ She screamed, hunching over. Like her heart was physically hurting. 

I knew the feeling. My own heart felt like it was being stabbed as I watched her in more pain than I’d ever seen her. 

Her tears splashed on the wooden floor. 

_ “Callum! _ Why?!” She sobbed.  _ “Why?!” _

“I’m having an affair,” I muttered. The final nail in the coffin. 

She screamed again, bracing herself on the floor with her hands. My heart twisted, and my grip tightened on the strap of my sketchbook. 

This was the hardest thing I had ever done. But it was the only choice I had left. 

_ “Tell me it isn’t true!” _ She cried, looking back up at me. 

_ It’s not true. I love you so much, please don’t leave- _

“It’s true,” I murmured, closing my eyes. I couldn’t stand to look at my wife for another second, to see her pain and anguish as I told her I was cheating on her. 

_ There’s no other woman I could ever be with. You are the light of my life, the love of my life- _

Rayla let out a sound in between a scream and a sob again, before quieting. But tears still rolled down her cheeks and dripped onto the floor. 

After a few agonising minutes, she stood and stormed out. I heard the sound of hooves against the ground as she left me in the lodge, alone. 

* * *

_ No. He didn’t.  _

But he said he did. 

_ He couldn’t have, Callum would never- _

He just told me that he was having an affair. Why would he lie?

I arrived at the castle after too long a journey alone with my thoughts, and I leaped off my horse and stormed through the hallways. 

I flung the doors to our room open, taking a minute to look at our belongings. 

The massive bed in the centre of the room, the desk stacked with drawings of us over the years. 

A scream of anguish ripped out of my throat and I punched the door behind me. I felt empty, but at the same time everything hurt  _ so much.  _

I noticed the dent my hand left in the wood - my engagement and marriage rings. 

_ Meaningless. Worthless.  _

I yanked both stupid rings off my fingers, and unclipped the horn cuffs from my head. I threw them on the ground, and faced the tall bookshelf next to me. 

I was breathing heavily, tears streaming down my face, as I remembered the memories of searching for books to burn time, only to have Callum’s arms wind around me from behind as his lips pressed to my neck. 

A primal cry escaped my throat and I pulled the bookshelf down, feeling the floor shudder as the heavy shelves toppled over and splintered. 

But it wasn’t enough. 

Everywhere I looked, there was  _ him.  _

I screamed again as I ripped the sheets off the bed and sliced open the mattress, feathers flying as my hands tore at it frantically. 

Next was the bed frame. 

I kicked the bedposts, sending them across the room in my fury. The wood smashed easily under my rage, fragile and light. 

I couldn’t stop, even as sobs wracked my body - a swirl of emotions was fueling me. Rage and despair, fury and heartbreak. 

It didn’t even feel good to destroy all evidence of the person I loved the most ever being in my life. 

But I still ripped everything apart, tearing pages and books, smashing desks and tables and chairs into splinters. 

Eventually I collapsed in the centre of the room, the energy sapped out of me. I vaguely registered it was dark outside as my vision blurred once again. 

I was on my knees sobbing -  _ he actually cheated on me, he’s divorcing me _ \- surrounded by my destruction. Papers, feathers and shards of wood surrounded me. Nothing in the room was still standing. 

“Rayla, are you okay-  _ holy shit-“ _

I weakly lifted my head to see Ezran standing in the hallway, his eyes wide as he took in the whole picture - me on the ground, the mess around me. 

I shook my head and started crying again, hunching over and holding my middle. 

“Rayla… where’s Callum?” Ezran asked me carefully, kneeling next to me. 

_ He left me, he’s gone, he doesn’t love me, he’s found someone else- _

I tried to say something, but instead choked on yet another sob. He placed a hand on my shoulder, trying to calm me. 

“Rayla?”

“He-“ I managed to utter one word, but then a stabbing sensation split through my chest again. I wailed, my pain making itself heard. 

_ He’s gone, he doesn’t love me, he loves someone else- _

My mind was stuck on a horrible loop, unable to think of anything else but  _ he left me, he’s happy with someone else- _

“It’s okay Rayla,” the king murmured. “What happened?” 

“He- he wants a divorce.”

_ “What?!” _

I felt strong hands grip my shoulders, and I looked up to see Amaya. 

She let go of my arm and signed the words;  _ “Let it out. Just let it all out.” _

So I did. 

Several hours later, after Ezran and Amaya waited patiently as I spoke in between bouts of sobs, wails and screams of pain, they had the full story. After showing me to a temporary room and having Opeli stay with me, they left immediately. To find Callum. 

They didn’t exactly tell me that that’s what they were going to do, but I knew.

* * *

I’d spent the day sitting on my bed. It took all my self restraint to not go back and beg Rayla’s forgiveness, to tell her it was all a lie. 

I loved her so much, and now she would hate me forever. 

I heard doors swing open and crash against the walls, almost flying off their hinges. 

That meant that Amaya was here. Probably Ezran too. 

Sure enough, I heard my brother yell at me.

“What the actual  _ fuck,  _ Callum?!”

I heard the unrestrained anger. Such a rare tone in my sweet, kind little brother’s voice. 

That meant that Rayla had gone back to the castle and told them. I couldn’t blame her at all. 

“How could you cheat on your  _ wife?!  _ Your wife of  _ five years!” _ He snarled, but I couldn’t look away from the sketch on my lap. 

I finally perfected the look in her eyes. Longing, guilt… almost perfectly masked by joy and happiness. 

I felt someone grab my chin and force my eyes up - Amaya was furious as she signed with one hand. 

_ “Callum, answer us. Now.” _

The bead of moisture slipped from my eye and down my cheek. “I- I wish I could lie. That would make this so much easier.”

“Lie?!  _ Lie?! _ About the affair you’re having?! Callum,  _ how could you?!” _ Ezran yelled, looking like he was close to crying too. 

“Yes. About the affair,” I whispered, closing my eyes. “I- it was hard to lie to Rayla, almost too hard, but I can’t to you guys.”

_ “Damn straight you can’t lie to us-  _ wait, you lied to Rayla?” Ezran stopped growling at me for a moment to actually register what I had said. 

“I’m not having an affair,” I told them, wiping my eyes with the sleeve of my jacket. 

“Why… then why the  _ fuck _ would you tell Rayla you are?” Ezran breathed. 

“I can’t do it, I can’t live like this. She leaves on her ‘vacations’... but she really looks for Viren. She doesn’t let me go with her, no matter how much I plead and beg. I just can’t handle it anymore.”

“Why tell her you were having an affair?” He asked. “Just talk to her-“

“Do you know why she goes off by herself? Why she doesn’t let anyone go with her, why she goes to find Viren at all?”

Ezran shook his head slowly, still confused and upset. 

“It’s because she thinks that it’s her fault, somehow. She has always felt like that, since we first met her. So… imagine how she would feel if she knew that she was the one who split us up?”

Ezran’s eyes widened, and I knew that he realised what I meant. Rayla would never forgive herself. 

“This way she can blame me, be happy, maybe even find happiness with someone else. It’s better for everyone,” I finished miserably, barely holding back the ugly sobs that threatened to escape. 

“I love her so much… but it’s over.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys want, I might do a sequel.  
> Let me know how I did, I’m not so good at writing sad and angry people, so I would love feedback :)


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